John Birmingham August 16, 2012
I think I may have found the best cupcakes in the world. Yes. Cupcakes. Not patty cakes, which are a dry, tasteless Olde Australian baked good which Chips Rafferty invented in the Libyan Desert as a handy dual use food/weapon technology to sustain our brave boys and cripple the Afrika Korps by tossing the rock hard little devils into the tanks treads of Rommel’s finest.
Just in case you were wondering.
Cupcakes. Not patty cakes. It says so on the little handwritten sign.
The best cupcakes I've ever had I had recently at a small inner suburban coffee haunt called Mugged in Bulimba, in Brisbane's inner east. This came as a surprise because your correspondent has travelled the world in search of cupcake perfection, going as far as New York on rumours of an especially delicious example, served in the form of a Sesame Street character.
But they can't match the cupcakes from Once Upon A Time cupcakes which are the richest, densest, gooiest cupcakes it's ever been my pleasure to inhale. They seem to run to the English method, which involves a lot more butter than US recipes, and delivers a cupcake which fairly glistens with moistiliciousness. Once Upon A Time pimp out their selection with a series of novelty selections; Oreos, caramel, Mars (or possibly Snickers Bars - investigations continue), red velvet, and a traditional carrot cake.
How good are these cakes? Addicts begin loitering from early in the morning and bloody fist fights are not unknown as the supplies dwindle.
I do anticipate, of course, that others will demur. Claiming their own interpretations of the cupcake, or a favoured merchants' wares as the finest possible selection. But I'm telling you, they're wrong. Wronger than Julia Gillard on gay marriage and Tony Abbott on beachwear.
There can be only one world's greatest cupcake and I have found it. Although I do find it difficult to choose between the Oreo and the caramel.